She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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