I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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