insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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