the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so let's talk penis.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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