We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
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If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
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Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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