And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
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I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
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I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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