so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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