I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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