I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
