What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
