If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
there was a trapeze. enough said
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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