I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
