You can't motorboat a personality
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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