sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
