i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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