Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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