so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
