y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
