So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
