Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm jealous of your bromance
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
