dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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