Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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