Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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