put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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