After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
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