But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
