we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize