I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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