Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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