Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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