Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.