i already hear my dad disowning me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here