Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I woke up on my floor...

  (1-516): View more from New York

  I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...

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  (516): I woke up on my floor... (1-516): I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop... http://tfl.nu/u1o5
  Replies (12) Good night (3900) Bad night (712)
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  (916): View more from California

  Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

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  (916): Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice http://tfl.nu/ob9j
  Replies (76) Good night (2772) Bad night (1624)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker

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  (330): She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker http://tfl.nu/3dfg
  Replies (36) Good night (795) Bad night (5294)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.

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  (908): Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at. http://tfl.nu/8pgv
  Replies (8) Good night (903) Bad night (4306)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?

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  (301): I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus? http://tfl.nu/vinz
  Replies (20) Good night (4207) Bad night (950)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.

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  (614): I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon. http://tfl.nu/njuz
  Replies (34) Good night (2442) Bad night (5671)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.

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  (208): drunk waterpark is besst waterpark. http://tfl.nu/8ekc
  Replies (4) Good night (1951) Bad night (568)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

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  (608): On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me.. http://tfl.nu/zeud
  Replies (1) Good night (1900) Bad night (616)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking

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  (516): Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking http://tfl.nu/xf50
  Replies (4) Good night (1760) Bad night (550)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12

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  (845): Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12 http://tfl.nu/01a6
  Replies (6) Good night (2427) Bad night (525)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.

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  (319): You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/1rw7
  Replies (5) Good night (1284) Bad night (733)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.

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  (952): You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans. http://tfl.nu/wpte
  Replies (5) Good night (898) Bad night (399)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.

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  (807): Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes. (519): does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks. http://tfl.nu/6pcz
  Replies (3) Good night (341) Bad night (728)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...

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  (414): I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands... http://tfl.nu/mwqv
  Replies (0) Good night (650) Bad night (279)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero

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  (314): Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero http://tfl.nu/2pom
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (187)

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