Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  garbage

  (248): View more from Michigan

  garbage dick

  (847): View more from Illinois

  rubbish cock

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you win

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  (847) garbage (248) garbage dick (847) rubbish cock (248) you win http://tfl.nu/0jjx
  Replies (3) Good night (2697) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i barfeds in our rink

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  (612): i barfeds in our rink http://tfl.nu/23a8
  Replies (8) Good night (925) Bad night (2462)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.

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  (918): The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting. http://tfl.nu/0qq1
  Replies (40) Good night (5080) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.

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  (319): In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums. http://tfl.nu/weac
  Replies (36) Good night (7124) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them

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  (971): eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them http://tfl.nu/lmi8
  Replies (10) Good night (1065) Bad night (4382)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?

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  (401): Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried? http://tfl.nu/xci2
  Replies (14) Good night (3996) Bad night (1614)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.

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  (812): Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet. http://tfl.nu/ytjh
  Replies (7) Good night (1333) Bad night (1857)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking

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  (516): Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking http://tfl.nu/xf50
  Replies (4) Good night (1860) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  do we own a ladder

  (206): View more from Washington

  We do not.

  (360): View more from Washington

  then how am i on the roof

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  (360): do we own a ladder (206): We do not. (360): then how am i on the roof http://tfl.nu/xqbq
  Replies (18) Good night (5830) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke

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  (724): i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke http://tfl.nu/zqlg
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (143): View more from

  I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month

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  (143): I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month http://tfl.nu/nllz
  Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die

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  (269): It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die http://tfl.nu/03yf
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!

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  (702): HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!! http://tfl.nu/b1io
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.

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  (607): His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death. http://tfl.nu/nfgi
  Replies (4) Good night (587) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness

  (305): View more from Florida

  They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"

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  (305): Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness (305): They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good" http://tfl.nu/l4to
  Replies (0) Good night (296) Bad night (402)

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