Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere

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  (250): Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere http://tfl.nu/ftm6
  Replies (10) Good night (641) Bad night (3375)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.

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  (913): some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night. http://tfl.nu/2xhx
  Replies (18) Good night (9566) Bad night (782)
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  (661): View more from California

  Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.

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  (661): Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed. http://tfl.nu/tpz0
  Replies (29) Good night (5136) Bad night (1223)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.

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  (651): they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight. http://tfl.nu/8039
  Replies (7) Good night (4991) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.

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  (919): He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy. http://tfl.nu/fux5
  Replies (11) Good night (4941) Bad night (1015)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing

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  (317): just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing http://tfl.nu/zjbc
  Replies (4) Good night (2949) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge

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  (859): heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge http://tfl.nu/k74f
  Replies (13) Good night (3454) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

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  (330): After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator. http://tfl.nu/loee
  Replies (5) Good night (1626) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.

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  (770): The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten. http://tfl.nu/cbpd
  Replies (2) Good night (1112) Bad night (462)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children

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  (817): I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children http://tfl.nu/nt9v
  Replies (4) Good night (1347) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.

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  (603): Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes. http://tfl.nu/6vyp
  Replies (4) Good night (354) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?

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  (914): can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks? http://tfl.nu/0s9u
  Replies (0) Good night (297) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related

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  (775): I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related http://tfl.nu/atsx
  Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.

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  (704): You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player. http://tfl.nu/yxi1
  Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...

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  (925): Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat... http://tfl.nu/8lha
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (458)

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