Jerry, you need to find god
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
they're like a gay fantastic four
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
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