I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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