is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
