I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
