i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
