Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
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