remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
