best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
