hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
