You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
