Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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