Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
