Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
