If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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