I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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