he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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