Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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