Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
