what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
