I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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