that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You don't make any sense
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