Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
