We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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