ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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