I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize