If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize