The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
